If Mother Earth really does have a sentience and can control natural phenomena such as earthquakes and hurricanes, what stops her from wiping humans off the face of the planet? Why is she letting us rowdy, unruly children live on and smear her surface at the expense of the other children of the Earth?

My idea (which is about as sound-of-mind as the hypothesis it fits into) is that after the KT extinction event that wiped out the dinosaurs – probably a massive meteorite strike – Big Momma decided to grow intelligent creatures that could build things to deflect future massive collission events – such as rocket-propelled nukes.

For all our toxin spilling, forest cutting and strip mining, and even nuclear testing, our activities are like a mild case of dandruff compared to the penetrating wound a planetoid-strike on Earth would cause.

Even if Momma blew up several volcanoes to deflect a meteor (or Galactus-level alien invaders), she’d suffer massive internal bleeding and pimply skin for eons.

Therefore, if Gaia hypothesis proponents are correct and so am I (and neither of us is completely insane kyah-ha-ha-ha-ha wryyyyyy), we humans fleas are here to defend the Earth against alien invaders, rocky or otherwise. All the Earth’s bounty is for us to use in preparation for that mission.